Our team is transforming the personal site of Lancelot Schaubert into the Showbear Family Circus. The transition will take the next three years to complete, but once we finish, we plan to have the online source for orienting your personal sector of society and thought and production around the liberal arts. It will be funny and reflective, moving and academic, cultured, pop-cultured, and uncultured (for the farmers and carpenters who contribute on their sectors). 

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true. 

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. If you're confused what we mean by this, take a gander at the moral philosophy volume The Abolition of Man as well as the essay The Lost Tools of Education. If you need examples, we have added some from multiple cultures and times in this article.

What matters is that you orient your personal discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality. 

Though all topics are welcome, all perspectives on those topics are not. We assume if you're submitting that you're (1) developing or extracting deep meaning, (2) celebrating virtue, (3) contributing to the wisdom and stature of humanity, or (4) thinking about your sector of society with an eye for seven generations out, particularly in regards to the virtue and moral component. 


DO NOT make multiple submissions: send us one thing at a time unless you’re submitting to a regular column. 


IF you’re submitting music, film, art, a stage play or other similar works, please realize that we are only featuring work already completed alongside text from the author on a website. We’re taking on zero new projects through this portal when it comes to production, directing, collaborating, or agenting. If one of us is looking for any of that, our personal websites (excepting Lancelot Schaubert’s, of course) will say so and our submission guidelines for production, collaboration, and agenting will remain separate from this portal.

IF YOU ARE A REAL LIVE SENTIENT JUGGLING BEAR, CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY.

Otherwise, carry on...

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways  magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true. 

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.

For this category, you're submitting to the Arts of Communication section. 


This includes:


  • Fiction, Myth, + Fairy Tale — For fiction, focus on narrative but make sure to make a point. We want all genres because genres are only ways that booksellers sell more books and libraries make it easy for you to find what you're looking for. That means we want speculative fiction (science fiction and fantasy), romance, mystery, thriller, horror, literary, YA, mythopoeia, western, steampunk, and so on. As editors, we'll be evaluating not only your narrative chops. We'll also evaluate whether your story is true and good and beautiful. It must have strong meaning. Don't preach, of course, but you'd better write from conviction because passivity and timidity shows up on the page. That said, don't be arrogant either: we've had some write beyond their intellectual acumen and it shows. Think like Upright Citizens Brigade: write at the top of your intelligence and no higher
  • Poetry — All forms and all lengths welcome, but we'll only publish stuff that moves us or makes us think something new. The moment of discernment matters. 
  • Creative Essay — Focus on paradox and deep reflection stemming from reevaluating common phrases and cultural assumptions. Chesterton, Twain, Emerson, Hart are all great guiding lights, but so are Flannery O'Conner's journal entries and Dorothy Sayers's comments on education.
  • Logic, Theology, + Philosophy — We prefer well-researched, academic expertise on this category — not blathering from gurus. However, we prefer minimal footnotes. We will, however, directly publish your academic papers, often as a content upgrade, to supplement your piece. In the event of significant breakthrough or radical reorienting of a field of thought, we will publish your abstract outright.
  • Humor + Rhetoric — We want speech transcripts, humor stories, and fiction with punchlines that celebrate virtue and morality. This is exceedingly difficult as most humor praises vice, but the best humorists have always done this.

The Deets:

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words. Longer than flash, shorter than novella. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true.

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.

For this category, you're submitting to the Humor, Satire, and Snark section. We prefer humor to focus either on mocking vice or, preferably, upholding virtue. Here's a list of both if you need it. If you're in doubt, submit your work anyways.


This includes:

 

  • Art, Music, Film, Games, Products, Pop Culture — Humor upholding virtues or mocking the vices of artists, musicians, and filmmakers are welcome as long as the interview holds up virtue and moral law.
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, Systems Engineering, etc — You're welcome to write humor on any new developments in the production lines, but again orient it around virtue, ethics, and morality. Is it good? Is it beautiful? Is it true? Otherwise, we'll accept any clever jokes of any producer of any kind in any sector, from conception to consumption. We will never have enough submissions from blue collar workers in this category, whether that’s salty how-to or brutally honest experiences or even flat out general strikes, so interviews of common workers will find favor here.
  • Math + Geometry — We want fringe math theory, math humor, and weird practical application of math a la 538's data journalism and interviews.
  • Astronomy — Jokes upholding the virtues and mocking the unique vices astronomers always welcome. 
  • Music Theory — As distinguished from jokes on musicians, this is the spot for fringe theories and ideas within the higher music culture. 
  • Political Theory — We're not the place for political news or activism. We ARE the place for modern humorous applications of The Consolation of Philosophy or the ethics of politics or retrospectives on how other politicians did it right or wrong. Any interview of a public servant who's focused on actual public service is welcome.
  • Economics — Though we'll take a very well-written satire of a specific company or organization (including exposés on financial malfeasance), but we really want macro economic theory and practical home economics jokes. We welcome interviews and reporting to that effect. 
  • Law — Plenty of places exist for poking fun of weird loopholes. We'd love to see those, of course, because those lead to interesting conversations about whether certain states should exist. However, we'd really like humor that evaluates the morality and virtue behind specific laws in order to drive a conversation towards legislating the good and abolishing the bad. 
  • Sciences — Humor on your current research thesis, mocking your own research during your fellowship, and so forth. 
  • Business — Jokes on business ethics, business morality, and business virtue welcome. Otherwise we're the wrong market for your leadership culture or Seeking Alpha piece. 
  • Medicine — Similar thing with medicine.
     

  The Deets:

 

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words. Longer than flash, shorter than novella. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 

 

Ends on $4.00
$4.00

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts.

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true.

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.

For this category, you're submitting to the Fiction section. We prefer fiction to focus less on exposing problems (there's plenty of that in American fiction) and more on upholding the virtues of various sectors of society. All genres welcome, but we'll pretty much auto-reject extreme instances of sex and violence or crass language that would suit a PG-12 audience simply because of how that restricts our placement in search engines.

Sectors:

 

  • Art, Music, Film, Games, Products, Pop Culture
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, Systems Engineering, etc
  • Math + Geometry
  • Astronomy
  • Music Theory
  • Political Theory
  • Economics
  • Law
  • Sciences
  • Business
  • Medicine
     

  The Deets:

 

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words. Longer than flash, shorter than novella. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 

 

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 



We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true.


We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.


That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.


200-word Flash Fiction


For this category, you're submitting to the 200-Word Flash Fiction section. ONLY SUBMIT PIECES UNDER 200 WORDS. We prefer fiction to focus less on exposing problems (there's plenty of that in American fiction) and more on upholding the virtues of various sectors of society. All genres welcome, but we'll pretty much auto-reject extreme instances of sex and violence or crass language that would suit a PG-12 audience simply because of how that restricts our placement in search engines.

Sectors:


 

  • Art, Music, Film, Games, Products, Pop Culture
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, Systems Engineering, etc
  • Math + Geometry
  • Astronomy
  • Music Theory
  • Political Theory
  • Economics
  • Law
  • Sciences
  • Business
  • Medicine
     

  The Deets:


 

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words. Longer than flash, shorter than novella. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 

  
 

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 


We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true. 

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.

For this category, you're submitting to the Arts of Organization + Application section. 


This includes:
 

  • Art, Music, Film — All submissions of your artwork, songs, films, and other mixed media should link to the work in the box. Anything is welcome as long as it holds up virtue and moral law. HOWEVER: make sure you do more than send us the piece. We want commentary on the meaning. Sure, the first interpretation of the art starts with experiencing it — which we will encourage — but author's intent remains the seed bed of the infinite fair territory that is correct meaning. WE ARE NOT in the business of producing, aventing, or otherwise releasing your work outside of print publication and sharing finished work on our site, preferably with some commentary by the creator. Stage plays, for instance, are welcome but we will only be publishing them digitally.
  • All Reviews of Art, Science, Games, Products, Pop Culture — We don't want consumer reviews. At all. This doesn't mean we don't want you to review consumable products. We don't want descriptive terms used in evaluative ways such as, for Alaadin, "You'll wish you saw it!" We don't care about that or five starts or anything similar. We don't care about the function of the piece, its efficiency, and so forth. What we want is reflective, meaningful dialog with the meaning and purpose and causes of the work of art or thought or scientific breakthrough or bit of pop culture. We want you to evaluate, clearly and convincingly, whether the work or thought or breakthrough is (1) true, (2) beautiful, (3) good. That's it: true criticism. We want you to judge it, be a real critic, and tell us the consequences of the piece or product if it or its grounding ideology is scaled globally.
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, Systems Engineering, etc — You're welcome to write an academic or popular essay on any new developments in the production lines, but again orient it around virtue, ethics, and morality. Is it good? Is it beautiful? Is it true? Otherwise, we'll accept any clever bit on any produced thing or profile of any producer of any kind in any sector, from conception to consumption. We will never have enough submissions from blue collar workers in this category, whether that’s salty how-to or brutally honest experiences or even flat out general strikes. So if you’re a carpenter, mechanic, welder, shit shoveler, kennel master, or cheaffur: we want your weirdest and best experiences both.


The Deets: 

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words or upload up to five works of art, songs, etc. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 


The Showbear Family Circus