Our team is transforming the personal site of Lancelot Schaubert into the Showbear Family Circus. The transition will take the next three years to complete, but once we finish, we plan to have the online source for orienting your personal sector of society and thought and production around the liberal arts. It will be funny and reflective, moving and academic, cultured, pop-cultured, and uncultured (for the farmers and carpenters who contribute on their sectors). 

Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true. 

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. If you're confused what we mean by this, take a gander at the moral philosophy volume The Abolition of Man as well as the essay The Lost Tools of Education

What matters is that you orient your personal discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality. 

Though all topics are welcome, all perspectives on those topics are not. We assume if you're submitting that you're (1) developing or extracting deep meaning, (2) celebrating virtue, (3) contributing to the wisdom and stature of humanity, or (4) thinking about your sector of society with an eye for seven generations out, particularly in regards to the virtue and moral component. 


DO NOT make multiple submissions: send us one thing at a time unless you’re submitting to a regular column. 


IF you’re submitting music, film, art, a stage play or other similar works, please realize that we are only featuring work already completed alongside text from the author on a website. We’re taking on zero new projects through this portal when it comes to production, directing, collaborating, or agenting. If one of us is looking for any of that, our personal websites (excepting Lancelot Schaubert’s, of course) will say so and our submission guidelines for production, collaboration, and agenting will remain separate from this portal.

IF YOU ARE A REAL LIVE SENTIENT JUGGLING BEAR, CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY.

Otherwise, carry on...

For our Small Stories for Kids, you must be under 12 years old and writing a piece under 500 words — you or your parent can submit, but it needs to be a fictional story written (preferably handwritten — attach image) by a child.


Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts.

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true.
We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.
For this category, you're submitting to the Fiction section. We prefer fiction to focus less on exposing problems (there's plenty of that in American fiction) and more on upholding the virtues of various sectors of society. All genres welcome, but we'll pretty much auto-reject extreme instances of sex and violence or crass language that would suit a PG-12 audience simply because of how that restricts our placement in search engines.

Sectors:


 

  • Art, Music, Film, Games, Products, Pop Culture
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, Systems Engineering, etc
  • Math + Geometry
  • Astronomy
  • Music Theory
  • Political Theory
  • Economics
  • Law
  • Sciences
  • Business
  • Medicine
     

  The Deets:


 

  • Wordcount — 500 words. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 

  
 

If you believe that you have more than one piece for submission, you may pitch a regular column here. 


  • The fee to do so is $5 — we want to deter those who are bulk-submitting to every free portal on Submittable and winnow it to those who are seriously committed to contributing regularly. 
  • You may pitch a regular column for any category. We want your first two articles submitted in a single Word document accompanied with titles and one-line pitches for your first ten posts. 
  • For fiction and other narrative: consider submitting a longer work that can be subdivided serially into chapters. A 40,000-word novella would work great as 10 weeks of 4,000 words apiece. 


Each category for the Showbear Family Circus is oriented around one of the main areas of the liberal arts. 

We do this because we hope to reorder common ways  magazines and readers think about news, scientific research, creative writing, and art reviews. We want all of the work shared at the Showbear Circus to focus not on money, power, lauds, or pleasure but on whether the thing made, the thought reasoned, and the feeling felt are good and beautiful and true. 

We want virtue and moral law back in our disciplines and sectors of society. You might pull from Plato's civic virtue or the moral law of the Tao or Tanakh or Jesus or Boethius or Cicero, doesn't really matter to us because the virtues and morals work in parallel and comment on one another. What matters is that you're orienting your discipline and sector of society around virtue and morality.

That in mind, all submissions must adhere to a PG-14 rating for the sake of the breadth of our audience. Hard F, C, B words, sexually explicit imagery, grotesque violence that does not clearly critique violence per se, etc. — these and related submissions will be automatically rejected if the cover letter does not give clear logical cause for the inclusion of such content. Save us both time and money by keeping our audience in mind.

Categories:
 

  • Fiction, Myth, + Fairy Tale — For fiction, focus on narrative but make sure to make a point. We want all genres because genres are only ways that booksellers sell more books and libraries make it easy for you to find what you're looking for. That means we want speculative fiction (science fiction and fantasy), romance, mystery, thriller, horror, literary, YA, mythopoeia, western, steampunk, and so on. As editors, we'll be evaluating not only your narrative chops. We'll evaluate whether your story is true and good and beautiful. It must have strong meaning. Don't preach, of course, but you'd better write from conviction because passivity and timidity shows up on the page. That said, don't be arrogant either: we've had some write beyond their intellectual acumen and it shows. Think like Upright Citizens Brigade: write at the top of your intelligence and no higher
  • Poetry — All forms and all lengths welcome, but we'll only publish stuff that moves us or makes us think something new. The moment of discernment matters. 
  • Creative Essay — Focus on paradox and deep reflection stemming from reevaluating common phrases and cultural assumptions. Chesterton, Twain, Emerson, Hart are all great guiding lights, but so are Flannery O'Conner's journal entries and Dorothy Sayers's comments on education.
  • Logic, Theology, + Philosophy — We prefer a well-researched, academic expertise on this category — not gurus. However, we prefer minimal footnotes. We will, however, directly publish academic papers, often as a content upgrade, to supplement your piece. In the event of significant breakthrough or radical reorienting of a field of thought, we will publish your abstract outright.
  • Humor + Rhetoric — We want speech transcripts, humor stories, and fiction with punchlines that celebrate virtue and morality. This is exceedingly difficult as most humor praises vice, but the best humorists have always done this. 
  • Math + Geometry — We want both fringe math theory, math humor, and weird practical application of math a la 538's data journalism. We want interesting applications of the study of space, but also practical applications such as how geometry affected homebuilding. 
  • Astronomy — Weird orbital trajectories, tidal influences, and articles about astronomy news, how to navigate by the stars, and interesting personal essays on things like the first time you taught your son how to use a telescope or shoved a rocket engine into a Western Flyer bike.
  • Music Theory — The section for music and music reviews is the "Arts of Production" section. This section should focus on music per se, both the practical application of music theory and the fringe science of music theory. How-to is great as long as it's engaging.
  • Political Theory — We're not the place for political news or activism. We ARE the place for modern applications of The Consolation of Philosophy or the ethics of politics or retrospectives on how other politicians did it right or wrong. Mentioning a political party is not the way to go. Evaluating how a specific policy worked for the good of the city (the polis) is what we want. This might include, for instance, the idea in the 80's to turn all of 5th Ave in NYC into a public park and why it failed. Issue-based essays welcome, particularly oriented around human interest stories.
  • Economics — Though we'll take a very well-written analysis of a specific company or organization (including exposés on financial malfeasance), but we really want macro economic theory and practical home economics. Academic papers and practical papers welcome. This is also the place for essays on homelessness and similar issues. We're very commons-minded, so anything pulling from The Divide or Who Owns America? or Crisis in the Commons or Pope Leo's encyclical or even Chesterton's distributionism and similar texts will find easy favor here. 
  • Law — Plenty of places exist for evaluating weird loopholes. We'd love to see those, of course, because those lead to interesting conversations about whether certain states should exist. However, we'd really like articles evaluating the morality and virtue behind specific laws in order to drive a conversation towards legislating the good and abolishing the bad. Funny essays on personal run-ins with the law are also welcome.
  • Sciences — Academic papers of all types welcome, but we'd really like to encounter your work BEFORE you publish. That means processing your thesis as you're in school, processing your research during your fellowship, and so forth. Weird applications of the sciences in the day-to-day and inside jokes welcome, as long as they're longer than 1,000 words. This is the safe place to test out your theories and datasets. More importantly, we want articles reflecting on the virtue and morality of specific scientific advances written by scientists and philosophers, with the assumption of "just because we can, doesn't mean we should."
  • Business — Small business advice and partnerships with the arts are favored. As are any pieces evaluating the "ought" side of business: virtues, ethics, morality in the way businesses are built, managed, sold, and the rest. Write this with the assumption of "just because we can, doesn't mean we should."
  • Medicine — Anything is welcome from academic to humor that starts with the assumptions that (1) it's wrong to make huge profits off of the sick, (2) DNA is both part of the commons and part of individual dignity and therefore ought not be patented, and (3) we really must first do no harm at every step of the medicinal pipeline.
  • Art, Music, Film — All submissions of your artwork, songs, films, and other mixed media should link to the work in the box. Anything is welcome as long as it holds up virtue and moral law. 
  • All Reviews of Art and Science — We don't want consumer reviews. At all. We don't want descriptive terms used in evaluative ways such as, for Alaadin, "You'll wish you saw it!" We don't care about that or five starts or anything similar. What we want is reflective, meaningful dialog with the meaning and purpose and causes of the work of art or thought or scientific breakthrough. We want you to evaluate, clearly and convincingly, whether the work or thought or breakthrough is (1) true, (2) beautiful, (3) good. That's it: true criticism. We want you to judge it, be a real critic, and tell us the consequences of the piece or product if it or its grounding ideology is scaled globally.
  • Manufacturing, Farming, Publishing, etc — You're welcome to write an academic or popular essay on any new developments in the production lines, but again orient it around virtue, ethics, and morality. Is it good? Is it beautiful? Is it true? Otherwise, we'll accept any clever bit on any produced thing or profile of any producer.
     

 The Deets:
 

  • Wordcount — 1,000 to 10,000 words. 
  • Format — As you'll see elsewhere, we mock sticklers for status quo. However, serif fonts are objectively easier to read than sans serif fonts, so we'll favor submissions with Garamond 12-point. If it's good enough for Harry Potter, it's good enough for us. And yes, it bothers us a wee little bit that Submittable uses sans serif. Double space or single doesn't matter since you're sending a Word Doc (or docx) and we can ctrl+A, adjust line spacing. Just because we're a team full of technological anarchists doesn't mean we're neanderthals... except for Girbog Smashclub. Quite the charmer, Girbog. Quite the socialite. 
  • Bona fides — If you've published elsewhere, please let us know. Don't assume we've heard of your work because books are many, life is short, languages evolve, and sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito or read Homer than keep up on the shifting fortunes of we literati. Or sometimes we'd rather eat a burrito while reading the library's ancient copy of Homer so that the burrito's salsa verde drips on the page. NOT that this has ever happened to any of us before in real life. Twice. Anyways, send a thorough bio.
  • Rights: Digital rights in perpetuity with the option to record audio for podcasts and reprint in an anthology. 


The Showbear Family Circus